Thursday, June 30, 2011

Law of attraction fundamentals, volume 4: the Power of the Subconscious

Powerful lesson about why studying the law of attraction often leads to frustration instead of success-- not taking into account the subconscious.

Read about it here.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Law of Attraction Fundamentals: Part 3, Believing You Can Change

Q: “So what would a mentor do to help me?

A: The short answer is “it depends.”  Everyone is different.  However many people do have common concerns, and the process for discovering what an individual needs is pretty well established.  Ultimately the mentor is there to be able to take you by the hand and walk you through the process of discovering your blocks and limiting beliefs.  Once you have identified them...

read the rest of the article here.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Law of Attraction Fundamentals, Part 2


Q: “So how can I use the law of attraction to improve my life?

A: We may not know exactly what is happening yet, but we do know for certain that the creative energy inside of each of us is dependent on our beliefs.  This happens on two levels:

1) our beliefs give meaning to events and experiences...

the rest of the article can be found here.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Law of attraction fundamentals, volume 1


Lately I've received questions that made me realize I need to write a few articles that teach more of the basics in the law of attraction.  Volume one of this series is my answer to this question:
Q: "I know my attitude dictates how I react to my circumstances, but I don't see how my attitude could possibly be creating my circumstances.  What is the law of attraction, really?"
A: I am convinced that...

go here for the rest of the article!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Where Did My Belief Come From?

Check out my new website!

In this post we discussed the idea that events in our lives are meaningless, until they are given meaning through our beliefs.  Our beliefs are the filter that we use to interpret events around us.  These beliefs, for the most part, were created many years ago.  In fact, most of the beliefs you use to give meaning to events around you probably were created while you were still a very small child.  [get ready, this next sentence is a mouthful]  The longer you held on to those beliefs, the more time you had to find supporting evidence to enhance the credibility of the meaning you give to events through your beliefs.  Yesterday we discussed that fear of failure is one good example of a feeling that is born out of a simple belief that failure is bad.  Think about it, if you didn't believe that failure was bad (because lots of wonderful things like growth and accidental discoveries are only possible through failure), then you could not fear failure.  If you didn't fear failure, you would be far less likely to fear the unkown, and consequently for more likely to act on inspiration that you feel.  That one simple belief-- that failure is bad-- has most likely held you back throughout your life and cost you dearly in terms of enjoyment, fulfillment, happiness, and of course, finances.  We know that the fear itself is not coming from the event, in this case possible potential failure (not even a real event...), but is coming from the beliefs you already have that give meaning to the event.

So where did that belief that failure is bad come from?  Is there any hope for those of us who have been buying into these beliefs as if they were real for so long that they now feel very real?
Your parents were not trying to make life difficult for you, at least most parents weren't.  Your parents were doing the best they could at the time they were raising you with the level of understanding that they had at the time, and at their level of evolution at that time.  But even though your parents weren't trying to teach you things like "failure is bad," they are the source of most of the subconscious beliefs that people  have in life.  Morty Lefkoe argues that these beliefs that we have about ourselves were generally created before the age of three.  Your parents' subconscious reactions to mistakes you made as a toddler gave you the first impressions that failure is bad.  because at that age you didn't have the ability to analyze your assumption, you just took it for granted as reality.  If you could go back now as a result and talk to the 3-year-old you, you could probably avoid creating that belief, and all of the subsequent fears created from the belief.

Think back to when you were younger and you made a mistake.  It could have been a big mistake or a little one, it doesn't matter.  How did your parents react to that mistake?  Most likely the reaction ranged from being mildly annoyed at your behavior to perhaps yelling at you or spanking you.  Whatever the reaction was, your interpretation at that time was that the reason your parents were upset or annoyed is because you failed.  Thus, failure is bad.  You then carried this belief with you throughout the rest of childhood, into adolescence, and then into adulthood.  Similar limiting beliefs like "I'm not worthy" and "I'm a bad person" ect. were created this same way.  You never stopped to question the validity of the assumption, because in your mind there was no reason to.  With all of the evidence you accumulated over time, how could that belief possibly be untrue?
Of course, in reality, the only reason that it feels true is because it is true for you.  You believe it, and so it is.  But if you could go back and speak with the 3-year-old you, you could probably help explain that the conclusion you should arrive at is not that failure is bad, but probably something more like "my parents are upset and annoyed because they have unrealistic expectations for a child my age" or "my parents are upset and annoyed because of other stresses in their lives, and they don't realize it, but they are taking it out on me" or perhaps "my parents believe that failure is bad, but that is not true." 
I wrote yesterday about how failure is actually a wonderful thing.  I honestly believe that making mistakes is crucial to learning a foreign language, and when I teach Mandarin to students we literally spend hours reviewing the fact that it is not just okay to make mistakes, it is actually a good thing.  Without mistakes, you could never learn any foreign language.  Similarly, without failing you could never learn any other skill on the planet-- at least not anything that you haven't already mastered.  So the fear of failure, based on the belief that failure is bad, is completely false.  There is no evidence to support the belief.
The same can be said for the other fears that come from other limiting beliefs.  When Jesus Christ taught about faith, he was teaching the idea of removing those limiting beliefs.  Faith and fear cannot occupy the same space in your mind any more than light and dark could ever occupy the same space in your room.  Perfect faith throws fear aside and just moves forward.  When you buy into your fears, you are choosing (subconsciously, not consciously) fear over faith.  So the better job you can do identifying your beliefs that create the fears, the easier it becomes to have faith and move forward.
In later posts I will talk about other common beliefs that slow people down, like "change is difficult" or "I'm powerless."  These beliefs create dangerous fears that keep people from progressing.  Remove the belief, and the fear will disappear with it.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Using the Law of Attraction

My real blog is up now, and I have transferred most of my articles over there.  From here on out I will post all of my articles first here before they appear on this blogspot page.  The new website will allow me to be in much better control of the website, and also allow for easier commenting by any and all.  You are welcome to go back and make some of those comments you sent to my email earlier because you couldn't figure out how to post them to my blogspot...


Most readers by now should understand that the law of attraction is happening on a belief level.  If that sentence doesn't make sense yet, be sure to read this and this before reading the rest of this post.  Our beliefs are the filter that we use to interpret reality; they can either create a life a continual growth, expanding love, true peace and even joy; or else different beliefs can create struggle, fear, anger, criticism, etc.  It is paramount that we learn to go deeper than simply managing our emotions through positive thinking.  In this post I will discuss how our beliefs can have such amazing power.
A belief is an idea that is accepted as true.  Basically, a belief is a statement about reality that feels true on some level.  We adopt our beliefs about the world at a very young age, and then usually spend the rest of our lives finding evidence to support those beliefs.  The events we experience in our lives carry no meaning or emotion with them, it is only by applying our beliefs to an event or experience that we are able to decide if the event was "good" or "bad," or anything in between.
Let me give you an example to illustrate this idea.  Let's say one morning you wake up and it has snowed so much overnight that school is cancelled.  Your neighbor's 11-year-old son is ecstatic because he gets to build snow forts and go sledding instead of spending the day in a classroom.  Your other next-door-neighbor, an ambulance driver, has been up since 2:30 taking calls and doing his best to safely navigate his ambulance from the hospital to various accident scenes and then back to the hospital again.  You have a home-based business and no school-aged children, and your life does not change one way or the other.  From the same event, three different people have radically different reactions.  One person is thrilled to have the snow, and celebrates like it is the best day of his life.  Another dreads heavy snow and can't help but curse the weather under his breath, and a third is completely indifferent to the snow.  The fact that it snowed last night has no energy to it.  It is not good, it is not bad.  It is completely indifferent.  It just is.  When we apply beliefs to the snow, then the event carries meaning and emotion for us individually.

There are no events that hold meaning or emotion.
Until you, through your beliefs, give meaning to an event,
that event remains meaningless.


So let's look at how our beliefs add meaning to a situation, and help create our reality.
You may have goals or aspirations that you have been dreaming about for years or even decades.  Why haven't you started working towards them?  Perhaps you started at some point but never continued as long as you needed to experience your breakthrough.  Why did you stop?  Without having you in front of me or on the other end of the phone, it is impossible for me to know what exactly is holding you back.  Many people I talk to are held back by fear of one kind or another.  Many are afraid of failure.  Others are afraid of the unkown.  Still others are afraid of rejection.  The list can go on, but in my experience this covers more than half of the people I've worked with.  Today I'll talk of the fear of failure.
Where does the fear of failure come from?  Let's say you are afraid to start that business you've been dreaming of because you are afraid of it failing.  You probably also believe that you will be considered a failure when your business tanks.  Where does this fear come from?  You may have heard of the acronym for fear: F.E.A.R.= False Evidence Appearing Real.  So if the fear of failure (or any other emotion) does not come from an event (starting a new business DOES NOT create fear), but comes from a belief inside of you that gives meaning to that event, what belief created that fear?
Again, since you are not on the phone with me, I'm going to have to take one of the more common beliefs that create fear and it may or may not apply to you.  Like I said earlier, it does apply to most of the people I work with.
Most likely, the belief that is causing the fear of failure is the belief that failure is bad.  Have you ever stopped to consider whether or not that belief is justified?  Is that belief serving you?  I for one have spent multiple lectures helping language students change this belief so that they can make mistakes confidently and finally start progressing in their acquisition of their second language.  I believe that mistakes and failure are wonderful!  Penicillin is just one famous example of something that was discovered because of making a mistake.  There are thousands of others.  I spent five years working very hard to learn Chinese to a level of proficiency that I was accepted into medical school in Beijing.  I worked countless hours learning to read and write characters so I could write essays about different aspects of TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) theory on tests in Chinese characters.  Eventually I passed the language proficiency exam and was accepted into the school.  I did well in my classes, but after one year of school I realized that I didn't want to finish my studies.  When I told friends and family that I decided not to finish school one of the common responses was "what a waste of five years of hard work!"  This reaction comes from the interpretation that 1) not finishing school is failure; and 2) failing is bad.  I obviously disagree with this interpretation.  I felt prompted to study Chinese medicine, and needed to acquire skills in order to do that.  I made the decision to study, and did it.  When I had enough information to make a better decision, I changed directions and have never looked back.  If I believed that not finishing was a failure, or that spending so much time to start something, only to fail at finishing, I would have to be devastated.  That very fear (of "failing" again) would keep me from branching out and becoming a professional speaker now.  But because I don't believe that failure is bad, I'm willing to act on the promptings that I feel, and trust that they are leading me in the right direction.
Tomorrow I want to expound about when and how those beliefs are integrated into our subconscious.  For now, think about what is holding you back; what fear is keeping you from acting, and what is the belief behind that fear?
You create your beliefs, (more on this tomorrow) and your beliefs create your life.  How you feel about yourself and the world around you is determined strictly by the meaning that you give to meaningless events around you.  But remember that you are not your beliefs, you are simply the creator or your beliefs, and you use them to interpret your world.
Deep, fun stuff.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Miracle on the Hudson-- Where Heroes are Born?

My new blog is LIVE!  future posts will be found here.   There is still a lot of work to do, but at least you can leave comments there without all the hassle!

I just spoke with my brother, who is living in West Virginia for the summer.  Last week he was returning home from a workout at the local gym, and before too long ended up stuck behind an "oversized load" truck that was driving about half of the speed limit.  Not only was the truck driving extremely slowly, but it was also very effectively taking up every available lane.  It appeared that the driver of the truck was intentionally driving right down the middle of the road, so as to upset everyone behind him so that no one could pass.  My brother tried to sneak by on the left and the right of the truck, but just became more and more upset as he realized that he would just have to wait behind this hunk of metal.  When he looked more closely at what was being pulled, he discovered that it was a broken-down airplane!  Somehow the driver of this truck had the audacity to take up the entire road with a wrecked airplane!
Looking around, my brother noticed that there were scores of people lining up on both sides of the street and even more people on each overpass.  All these people were cheering and taking pictures as the wrecked airplane passed by him.  Suddenly it dawned on him, and my brother realized that he was unintentionally a part of history.  The plane that was being dragged on the road was US Airways flight 1549-- the miracle on the Hudson plane!  In an instant, my brother felt a surge of pride run through him as he realized what he had stumbled upon.  This was historic!  The plane was being transported to an aviation museum, and he was lucky enough to participate in some small way in the transportation of this famous plane.


I've written a few posts about how it is our beliefs about what we are experiencing that determine our energy.  It is our vibrational energy (not caloric) that attracts back to us a lifestyle that resonates with our vibration.  This quick story is yet another example of how a sincere change in beliefs creates an energy shift that appears to change the entire world.  My brother was still stuck behind a truck traveling half the speed limit.  The same truck continued to pull the same huge chunk of metal, and yet the anger and frustration that was felt earlier melted away and was replaced by excitement, pride, and even joy.
It is worth emphasizing that my brother did not make any attempt to monitor or manage his emotions.  He did not do breathing or meditation exercises to try to reduce his stress.  He did not take a different route so that he could avoid the event.  His fundamental interpretation of what was happening changed as his belief changed, and his emotions and thoughts naturally followed suit.

This was an exciting conversation for me because I happened to be thinking about heroism at the time of the phone call with my brother.  I was thinking about the events in our lives that are usually not consciously asked for, but that ultimately can catapult an individual from mediocrity to heroism, almost overnight.  Allow me to explain.
Captain Chesley Sullenberger was a fantastic pilot before January 15, 2009.  He had logged well over 15,000 hours in over 35 years of problem-free flying.  He was awarded "top flier" in his Air Force class in 1973 after training and then even student-teaching flight there.  He even created his own side business in 2007, Safety Reliability Methods Inc., which is a safety consulting business (how fitting).
If I'm flying, I want someone like Captain "Sulley" flying my plane!  Without any verifiable evidence, however, I'm guessing that this type of pilot is not very rare.  There are dozens, if not hundreds or perhaps even thousands of people with immaculate flying records.  How many of these perfect fliers have a fan page on facebook?  Sulley's fan page has almost 600,000 fans today. What really is the difference between Sullenberger and all the other great pilots with immaculate safety records?
For those who don't know, US Airways flight 1549 flew through a large flock of birds just a few minutes after taking off from New York.  Both engines were completely disabled, and the captain had to do an emergency landing with the plane.  Without any ability to propel the plane, he did not have an airport within range where he could make the emergency landing, and so he decided to land the plane, along with his crew and 155 passengers, on a stretch of the Hudson River.  Everyone survived and according to a February 2009 airing of 60 Minutes, Sullenberger walked through the entire plane twice to make sure every passenger was off the plane before he grabbed his things and evacuated. 
President Bush and President-elect Obama both called to thank him for keeping passengers safe.  The good captain was invited to interview with countless media outlets, was given multiple awards and has had several books written about him and his miraculous experience.
I haven't had the opportunity to ask, but my guess is that if Sully would have known ahead of time that his airplane would completely lose propulsion just a few minutes into flight, he would have chosen not to fly the plane that day.  My point is Sulley didn't ask for heroism, a crisis created it in him.  I doubt that most true heroes face any day hoping for some catastrophe to strike just so that they can prove themselves great.  At the same time, I bet there are people with more education than me that can somehow prove that, among other things, it is the beliefs that a hero takes into a crisis that allow them to perform miraculously when faced with danger.  In Chinese, the word for crisis is made up of two characters, "wei" and "ji."  Wei means danger and ji means opportunity.  A crisis by definition is as much an opportunity as it is a dangerous circumstance.
Great difficulty creates opportunity, but only for those who's beliefs support that opportunity.  Small difficulties also have small opportunities in them.  I believe that all of us have the ability to be heroes and to do great things, because by small and simple things, great things can come about.  The challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to find the opportunity within the danger.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Myth of Emotions

An updated version of this article can be found here.


Emotions do not create our energy level.



In this post I talked about the most common myth people buy into regarding the law of attraction; that thoughts create our reality.  A close second is the false belief that emotions create our reality.

Before we can really get into why this is such a common and difficult myth to overcome, I think we need to first understand where emotions originate.  It helps to realize that our emotions are not a reflection of our environment or a reaction to what is happening around us.  So many people feel like our emotions are a direct reactions to the things people say or do, or experiences we have.  This is clearly not true.
I once had a conversation with one student that went something like "of course I feel happy when my husband surprises me with flowers, or my best friend calls with good news.  Of course I feel terrible when my boss/teacher tells me I'm stupid or when cause a traffic accident!"
Seems reasonable.  This interpretation feels real.  It seems like all the evidence of a lifetime supports this conclusion.  It might be difficult to believe, but our emotions are not created by our environment.  Our emotions are actually the result of our interpretation of what is happening, and our subconscious evaluation of the goodness or badness of our interpretation of the event.  Note that our interpretation does not have to be correct in order to elicit an emotional response.  We could be completely misinterpreting what is happening, but our emotions will only reflect our interpretation . This explains why two people standing side by side can witness the exact same event, and one of them come away feeling excited and joyful, while the other comes away feeling scared, uneasy, or upset.  It is not the event itself that creates our emotions, but our interpretation of the event, and our beliefs about that interpretation.  Perhaps the best way to explain this is through an example.
How would you feel if one of your good friends told you you are going to be a failure?  Think about it for a minute.  Does anything change if a stranger said the same thing to you?  What if a teacher, or boss, or parent was the origin of the statement?
Before you read on, honestly think about and write down your reactions.



can I give you a hand with th
If you came into this blog post believing, without any doubt, that you are already extremely successful, and that over time you just continue to become more and more successful... If there is no doubt in your heart or mind that you are and always will be a success....  If those are your beliefs coming into this blog, then your energy will be at a vibration that vibrates well above the word "failure."  Like two tuning forks of completely different tones, ringing the lower vibration will not resonate in any way with the higher vibration.  Because your energy is so far above the shame or fear or failure, you could not possibly be emotionally charged by that statement.  In fact, your emotional reaction would be probably be one of curiosity, "I wonder how he/she arrived at that kind of conclusion?" or perhaps compassion "what is it about this person's energy that is so low that they feel like they need to pull others down to feel better about themselves?" or "I wonder what this person must be struggling with that they feel like they need to try to manipulate me?"  "how can I help this person."
Now let's switch gears for a minute to anticipate what would happen if you came into the same conversation with a belief that no matter what you did, you always seem to fall short of your goals.  What if you felt bad because you constantly try to impress others and make them think that you are successful, even though you know deep down that secretly you are not.  You know that you try to give that impression because you feel bad that you are not as successful as you present yourself to be, and you probably never will be.
What type of emotions are going to be triggered when you are told that you're going to fail?  Now you have further evidence that what you believed all along was true.  You immediately, without questioning, file this experience away in your subconscious to add to tall the other preponderance of evidence that already exists that you are, and always will be, a failure.  Because inside you your energy also vibrates at this frequency, the statement and the sensitive idea of failure strikes a chord with you and you react with emotions that may range from anger to shame, or fear to anxiety, or any number of other negative emotions.
Contrary to popular belief, the person telling you that you will be a failure did not create your emotions of fear or anger any more than they could cause you to feel empathy or compassion.
I don't know what the motivation was that caused this person to say that you would be a failure.  It is entirely possible that he/she had very positive, constructive, and uplifting intentions.  No, I don't know very much about the person by the words that they said to you.  But I know a lot about where your energy level is when you tell me the emotions you feel as a result of what was said.
Sometimes parents, teachers, friends, bosses, or just total strangers can say or do things that really get on your nerves.  The fact that you get upset says little about the other person, but says a lot about your beliefs and energy.  Spouses and children also act as energy mirrors to help us know where our energy is vibrating.
After my last few entries about the law of attraction I've received several requests for specific, actionable ideas that people can use to elevate energy levels and enjoy life more.  I promise that I will write some articles with those action steps.  I feel like it is important to lay the foundation first, so that the action steps make sense in the correct context.  Stay tuned!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Why you can dare to dream



Inspirational "Korea's Got Talent" (코리아 갓 탤런트) contestant Sung-Bong Choi showing the world it is okay to dream.
Warning! This will make you cry.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Phantom Mastermind with Joe Vitale

When I first heard that people could pay $5,000 to spend an evening masterminding with Joe Vitale in his Rolls Royce Phantom, I thought it was completely outrageous.   After spending an evening with Joe last week (thanks Joe) I now believe that the experience is worth far more than $5000.

Presenting my book Your Superpowers to Joe
It was a real joy to be able to present my book to one of my heroes.  Joe Vitale has written over 50 books, and created almost a dozen audio programs, and they are fantastic!  His The Awakening Course and The Missing Secret have probably impacted me the most, but it goes without saying that he is an established expert and an inspiration to hundreds of thousands of followers.
Without a doubt, the most exciting thing I discovered in my visit is that my book is ready to go!  As we discussed my book, he gave me about 5 tips that I can use to improve the book, but that basically it is ready to go to market.  I'm in the process of adding a subtitle, as well as implementing the other tips, but knowing that someone as established as Joe likes the book, just the way it is, was extremely exciting for me.

The Rolls-Royce Phantom

Joe Taking me in the Spyker

Panoz Roadster, Steven Tyler's old car
When I arrived at his house, Joe came out to great me and show me each of his cars.  I spent time admiring each vehicle, but what struck me was all of the stories that Joe told about each individual car.  This was a very impressive car collection in my opinion, but it was interesting that each and every car represented an event or a person of value in Joe's life.  While the Rolls Royce was obviously a very comfortable ride, my favorite car was the Spyker, which is a hand-made car from Holland.  My wife likes the "yellow car" the best.  That car is a Panoz Roadster, and less than 250 of those cars were ever made.  The one in Joe Vitale's collection was built for Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, and some might even recognize the car from one of his music videos.  Again, Joe seems to me to be more excited about the stories behind the cars, than the cars themselves.

It wasn't long before we started to tour the house.  Joe loves guitars, and told me several stories about individual guitars as well.  I promised not to post any pictures of his messy library, but I feel like I can provide a solid witness that Joe is a true book lover.  He has a pretty sizable library, and it is absolutely overflowing with books on just about every topic.


After settling in we began to discuss my book, as well as other dreams and aspirations that I have.  He was always focused and attentive to my questions and needs, and his advice was priceless.  I video recorded most of our time together, and I'm glad I did, because there was just so much priceless information.

Joe Vitale and his "Vitale Steak"  it was enormous!
Time in his office really flew by quickly, and we went to a local restaurant to eat some "Vitale Steak."

My steak was much smaller than Joe's but I only finished a fourth of mine!

We had a fantastic meal at a pizza joint run by ex-NFL star Bruce Collie.  They do steak for special guests, and Joe has become pretty well-liked there.  My biggest problem was that the food leading up to the steak was so delicious and so filling, that I was not able to eat even half of my steak.  It was delicious though, probably the best steak I have ever had.








We ended the night with Joe Vitale thanking me for the difference that I am making in the world.  Overall this experience was an absolute joy.  I've discovered something about successful people; it seems like the more successful someone is, the more genuine, kind, and caring they are.  Joe more than exemplified that for me.

Thanks Joe!

Thanks Joe!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Case For Forgiveness

This article has been updated on this website.


"The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
 Mahatma Gandhi

the second of two characters that spell forgiveness in Chinese (pronounced "shu")



In this post I talked about the fact that it is our energy state, not our thoughts, that creates our reality.  If we want to attract a better, more abundant life, it is our energy, rather than our thoughts, that needs to change.

This begs the question; how do I change my energy? 

The single most important thing you can do to change your energy is to sincerely forgive yourself and others. 
Until fairly recently, I kindof thought of forgiveness as letting someone off the hook after I was angry with them for a sufficient time period.  Of course all of this was arbitrary, but after an apology or some other act of good will, or if I had simply been angry for enough time, it was right for me to "forgive and forget."  Throughout my childhood I was asked "will you forgive me?" when a parent or some other mature person made some mistake that hurt me.  Perhaps that is why I believed that my forgiveness was an act of charity towards someone else that allowed them to have peace of mind.  Almost as if I was doing the other person a favor by forgiving them.  I don't think I was in a mature enough state of mind to decipher whether or not my forgiveness was sincere. 

The truth is, sincere forgiveness does have the effect of freeing someone from bondage, but that person is you.  The forgiven will still need to work things out for themselves, and you may be able to help them, but make no mistake about it, forgiveness benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven.

I recently spoke with a woman from Holland who was a very successful artist-- until about 12 years ago.  That is when she and her husband divorced, and in the settlement all he wanted was her art.  She interpreted this as his attempt to take away her art, and with it, her soul.  She threw paint on all of her masterpieces, and gave them to her husband.  The divorce was finalized, she had the house, the nice car, and plenty of money, and he had the ruined paintings.  She was so angry that he took her art from her that she could no longer bring herself to paint again.  I spoke with her about 6 months ago.  Even after more than a decade of time had passed, the fire and fury inside of her were just as strong as if the divorce had taken place the day before.  She had since lost all of her money, sold her house and car, and was living in poverty.  Her anger cankered her soul.  Clinging so tightly to the anger was like drinking poison, and hoping that her ex-husband would get sick from it.
One of the miracles of forgiveness is that it can literally be instantaneous.  Intellectually this woman had known for years she needed to let go of all the anger and negativity, but when I talked to her, she felt no hope that should ever could.
Within a couple of weeks however, she was painting again, and within a couple of months had sold her first original painting in over 12 years.  Who knows where her ex-husband is today.  She had not heard from him in years, and she was quite confident that he did not know how far she had fallen.  Most likely he was living his life, unaware of her misery, unaware of any level of forgiveness or lack thereof.

How did she turn her life around?  How can you heal through forgiveness?  It is probably easier than you think.

1) first, realize that all of your beliefs about the world (and the people in the world) are your own creation.  They most likely are not reflections of reality.  I've never met the man who asked for her art in the divorce settlement, but it is entirely possible (I think highly likely) that he did not intend to create such anger in his wife.  It is even possible that he felt like he was extending an olive branch by asking for no financial support, and wanting to take something that she could so easily replace.  I don't know what his intentions were, and neither does the woman I spoke with.  Even when we feel like we are sure that our interpretation of what happened is correct, that doesn't mean that the offending party had the same interpretation.  They could be "wrong," but to them their interpretation of what is happening is just as real as yours is to you.

2) Second, even if you cannot forgive someone by giving them the benefit of the doubt and admitting that you are not all-knowing, you can still forgive yourself and others by remembering that everyone is doing the best they can, at their level of evolution.
This was an enormous discovery for me.  All of us, you and me, and the worst criminals in history, are doing the best we can, at our current level of evolution.  When we are inspired we make better choices.  The only time we will ever choose to do something that would harm ourselves or others is when we are operating at a lower energy level.  When I recognize that I live in an abundant universe full of opportunity and joy, I don't feel the need to cheat others or steal from them, etc.  But on a lower level of evolution, I might not see the abundance and might truly believe that the best choice for me is to cheat others in some way.  Some people are operating on even lower levels of energy, and believe that they need to abuse others to feel loved.
Ultimately, everyone is doing the best they can, at their current level of evolution.  So if you made a really stupid mistake and you are still beating yourself up for it, guess what, you were doing the best you could, with the level of understanding you had at the time, and at your level of evolution at that time.  As a result of continuing to live and learn and grow, you may have developed and advanced beyond that level of evolution, and it may sicken you to think about the fact that at one point in your life you made some bad choices.  Now you can get over it.  That was so yesterday.  That's old, you're new, say goodbye and move on from that experience.  You can forgive yourself, completely and sincerely.  Understanding this will make it much easier to forgive others also.
Remembering this also help you feel compassion for those who may have hurt or abused you.  Their energy was at such a low level that they felt like the only way to feel secure was to dominate and hurt you.  Understanding this truth allows you to feel true compassion for them, and sincere forgiveness as well.

3) Finally, you can ask a loving Heavenly Father to help you forgive.  Start with yourself.  When you have sincerely forgiven yourself, you will feel so much love in your heart that it will seem completely natural to forgive others.

Forgiveness is the key to neutralizing negative energy, so you can put yourself in a position to attract more joy and abundance into your life.  I believe all humans are on this Earth mostly to learn how to find pure joy.  Forgiveness is the first, essential step.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Getting To Know Yourself: Common Myth Regarding The Law of Attraction

If you have never watched the movie The Secret, this post may be difficult to really appreciate.  In talking to thousands of potential Miracles Coaching students, I've noticed a very subtle but critical misunderstanding and application of the law of attraction with virtually everyone.  The law of attraction states that everything we experience in life is a direct reflection of our internal energy level.  Some describe it more simply as saying "like attracts like."  Ultimately it is teaching that your internal "vibration" or energy level creates your environment.  Your beliefs create your energy, and your thoughts help you know what your beliefs are.
Most people make a costly mistake when they first learn about the law of attraction.  Many mistakenly believe that it is their thoughts that create their reality.  I remember at least one of the experts highlighted in the movie The Secret said something to the effect of "thoughts are things, each individual thought has it's own vibrational frequency that can be measured..."  While this is certainly true, it can also be misleading.

Actually, our thoughts are simply the final linguistic evidence of our energy.  We have an easier time recognizing and dealing with our thoughts, because they are available in a language we understand and use frequently.  However, the thoughts come from somewhere, and if we want to improve our lives our focus should really be on the origin of those thoughts.  Our energy is what is connected in some magical way with everything around us, and our energy is a reflection of our beliefs.  The "universe" doesn't speak English, or any other spoken language, it speaks vibrational "energy."  That is the true attractor power.  Our thoughts are really just our best tool for understanding what our beliefs are.  That is why true, sincere forgiveness and gratitude are essential to living a better life-- but that is another post for another time.
Let me see if I can explain it this way...  Many people consciously want more money, better health, and wonderful relationships.  Who in their right mind would ever attract poverty, disability, or abuse?  The reason why people can consciously desire positive things and still attract negative things is because of the subconscious beliefs about ourselves and about our world that create our energy.  You may say you want more money, and believe it consciously, for example, but if somewhere deep down you are afraid that if you have more money you will become greedy or rude or will not get into heaven, then you will subconsciously push away your conscious intention for more money. 

Why?  To put this in perspective, lets first compare the attractor power of the conscious mind verses the subconscious.  It has been measured that the conscious mind can focus on anywhere between 12 and 120 bits of information at any given time (I've heard differing numbers here, and would love it if someone could find a reputable source for me.  Regardless of the accurate number, it is very small.)  The subconscious, in contrast, is constantly organizing, filing, and functioning on tens of millions of bits of information.  Where is the law of attraction really taking place?  No question  that it is happening on a subconscious level. 
Chinese symbol for "qi" or the essence of life
Because of this misunderstanding, many people learn about the law of attraction and immediately begin to monitor their thoughts.  It is good to monitor our thoughts, but for a different reason.  Those thoughts can be the most effective tool we have to discover our beliefs-- and in turn-- our energy level.
What happens in so many people, however, is that they monitor their thoughts and discover lots of negativity.  Obviously if you believe that your thoughts create your reality then you will do your best to change your thoughts to something positive.  The ultimate effect is that you mask, or superficially cover up your thoughts and artificially create new thoughts that are happy and positive (because you want to attract happy and positive things.)  I believe that this is the last thing you want to do if you really want to elevate your energy and enjoy life more.
So what is actually happening?  Your beliefs create an energy level inside of you.  You might believe, for example, that if someone lies to you, you should be angry with them.  If that is your belief, and someone lies to you, then you will be angry, but only because of that belief.  If you believed it was perfectly healthy and normal for people to lie to you, or that it is sincerely funny when people lie to you, you would not feel anger  when lied to.  Make sense?  Your belief creates an angry energy inside of you.  Then, your mind interprets the negative, angry energy, and represents it linguistically in a thought.
Please realize that it is not happening the other way around.  You did not have a conscious thought followed by a subconscious feeling, which created a new belief about how the world works and how you should react to it.  Your thoughts do not create the energy, they merely give you insight into what your feelings are.  Your feelings were created because of your beliefs.
What happens then, as you try to mask your negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts?  Are you changing the energy?  Are you changing the belief responsible for the energy?  No*.  If you only change your current thought, and not the belief that created the thought, all you are doing is making it that much harder to understand and interpret your true beliefs, because you are artificially suppressing the emotions created by the beliefs.
give yourself permission to feel your true feelings.
Suppressing your feelings and thoughts will not attract a better life to you.  If you want to live on a higher plane of energy, you need to allow all of your thoughts to bubble up into your conscious mind.  If you allow these thoughts, then the mind will do a better and better job accurately reflecting the energy inside of you through language.  Suppressing those thoughts and emotions will lead to having a harder and harder time discovering your true beliefs.

So your first job is to allow the emotions to come up.  if you don't like what they represent, that is okay, you can only change the cause of the thoughts by allowing them to come out, and then interpret them and work through them. 
Once you have allowed the belief to surface, you can begin working on it.  In a later post I'll talk about some of the effective tools and strategies that you can use to work through this energy.  For now, just remember that honest, sincere forgiveness (of self as well as others) neutralizes negative energy, and love and gratitude raise your vibration (energy).  Stay tuned for more practical tips later on. 

*I recognize that it is possible to genuinely alter your energy state through changing your thoughts, I'll talk about that later.  Today's post is designed to help people realize the kind of change that attracts a better life is an energy shift, not a thought-replacement.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Great Tip For a Happy Life

Always buy lemonade from kids at a lemonade stand.



On my way home from work today I passed this table and had to stop.  Not because I was thirsty for lemonade, but because of how excited and happy these kids were.  Only two of them wanted to pose for the pictures, but seeing how happy they were really made my day.  I've decided to always stop to buy lemonade when it is available!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Caught in the act!

I think most people would agree that it is easy to find things to complain about.  In fact, one thing I've noticed about some of the most talented grumps I know is that they never run out of ways to grumble.
I know that there are people going the extra mile all around us, and we don't always notice.  With that in mind, I want to start a forum that will allow people to share examples of excellence in everyday life.  It is a little surprising to me, but my inspiration for starting this forum (when my new website is up and running it will be a real forum, but I didn't want to wait until the website was running to start people thinking and contributing) actually came from TSA officials in the airport in Austin, Texas.  The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has been on the wrong end of a lot of accusations stemming from inappropriate pat-downs to being pompous and just plain rude.  Many people are upset that getting through security has become so time consuming and sometimes downright frustrating.
long line of people, went very quickly
In the Austin-Bergstrom airport things were dramatically different.  Someone clearly has set a tone of excellence there.  Our line moved very quickly, when we first got in line we were worried about catching our flight that left in an hour, because it looked like an overwhelming line, but we were pleasantly surprised that within 12 minutes we had already made it to the x-ray machines.  Each person who greeted us along the way was extremely kind and courteous, and when the machine detected that two of the three people in my group had something dangerous in our luggage, they quickly and efficiently pulled out the item in question, re-checked the bags, and sent us on our way.  They were also very respectful of our luggage, and asked permission before digging into anything.

I was so impressed that I decided there needs to be a platform for experiences like this.  When you come across someone really going the extra mile or showing genuine goodness, however great or small, please feel free to share your experience with the world through this forum.  Sometimes it helps us to be on the lookout for positive people and acts of service or selflessness, otherwise we may not even notice.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

my new website

I have been working with a web designer/programmer to build the website I will use to launch my book, Your Superpowers.  The designer has given me several mocks, and I have had the most difficult time choosing exactly what I want.  I think it is because I have been working with it for so long, I no longer have fresh eyes to see clearly what the best design is.
So I'm coming to you for help.  Here I have all of the mocks that she has done for me, and I'd like any and all feedback you might have.  Many people have told me that they cannot leave comments on this blog (working on switching to another website that will make it easier to leave comments) and so if you can't leave comments please email me at kongshantai@hotmail.com or leave your comments on my facebook page.  Thank you so much!
Mock 1
Mock 2
Mock 3
Mock 4
Mock 5
Mock 6
Mock 7
Mock 8
Mock 9 
Mock 10 
Mock 11
Mock 12


Any comments, anything at all will be useful for me at this point.  Please share what you like, don't like, or indifferent about.
Thank you so much!